Right well i've realised something today, it's not a bad thing. I ID as queer because i feel thats what i am,neither straight or gay but queer. I have always found guys attractive,i think it's mainly because i knew i was trans from a young age it just took a while to get through to me. Anyway i had arranged a play date with a guy i met online a few month ago, he is really lovely and understanding. I was really looking forward to it but i was nervous too for obvious reasons. Though i think i realised that whatever i feel for guys stops right there cos i know i'm not meant to be with them, i don't mean that in a bad way but i feel so much more comfortable being with a femme,i feel safe and at ease. Also i'd be going with this guy for all the wrong reasons,mainly i miss having someone, not just in a sexual way,in every sense i guess.
Although i think i do need to see my counsellor again cos i have lots of barriers up which aren't gonna come down over night..
No comments:
Post a Comment