angsty

I've been itching for my next injection for about a week now. I'm not due to have it til the 3rd January which isn't too far away. The changes that have happened so far make me feel good but the more the good stuff happens the more i fucking hate my body, like the hairs on my chest make me feel like a bio guy then i have a reminder of my female chest. One thing i've noticed recently is people referring to my chest as my breasts, it really fucking winds me up and makes me feel sick. They aren't mine,i didn't ask for them.

At MORF on monday i realised that i think i've accepted myself even more. What i mean by that is before coming out i had this stupid idea of what a man was, example...someone who likes football,drinks beer etc..ya know someone who is really blokey. I'm angry at myself for ever thinking it. For years i didn't do anything about my trans issues cos i felt like i didn't fit in. It wasn't til i started going to MORF that i realised i didn't have to be a meat head to be considered a real man. It's taken me a long time to just be me around certain people and i'm glad i've gotten there.

still thinking about phalloplasty..