So I've been thinking about cock again. Precisely my own. I've decided I want phalloplasty.
The closer I get to chest surgery the more I know I'm going to feel 'complete' but the more I think about my 'downstairs' the more I want phallo.
I think if I've been honest I am dysphoric about my cock now but not in a oh my god I hate it way cos I don't, I'm quite confident about my body. However, when I think about sexual encounters and when I'm in them the more head fucked I get depending on who I am. The thought of using a hard packer makes me worried cos I genuinely think it'd make me feel like shit but I guess I don't know till I try.
I do know that it definitely plays on my mind when I'm out or flirting with someone regardless of gender or non gender that the kind of sex I want to have can't exactly happen right now even if there are 'apparatus' out there but like I said I'm not sure how it'd feel afterwards which fucking scares me.
Anyway, I'm fine. I know there's nothing I can do about it now cos packing doesn't feel entirely right.
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