This is something i was reading/talking about on a message board i'm on which made me think. The topic was 'does a cock make a man?'. As i've said before i'm not going to have lower surgery as i know that what's between my legs doesn't define me as a person. When i came out as trans everyone said 'oh so you want to be a man?' and i just said yes because i couldn't be arsed explaining how i really felt. I feel more male than i do female obviously, i want to be seen as male but not a man.Whether that's right or wrong then i don't know. I've always had problems when it comes to 'being a man' mainly because i've been around men who like football,drink beer and do manly jobs like fixing stuff, i don't indetify with any of these.
As much i disengage myself with my body, i do like the fact that i know what it's like to be female. I also like that i have empathy towards others which not a lot of guys have. I think also because i've grown up around women which has made me understand them,well sometimes haha. Also its made me love women,not in a weird way but in a way that i love it when women get together and have conversations,mainly cos it's funny how they interactive with each other. Funny in a good way.All my friends from high school are girls,watching them together makes me smile. I know that i'm the odd one out cos i don't like shopping or make up etc.. but it's cool.
Anyway it's taken years to accept myself for me. I spent too many years trying to be a 'man' because of the transguys i was friends (btw it's people in my past,not the transguys i'm friends with now). They felt the need to be this big macho man and be very caveman like in the sense of treating women like objects. I might not of shown it to people in real life situations but i was trying to be something i wasn't, so much so that i had to take a step back from the bft/trans stuff cos i wasn't being 'me'.
I am me, i like musicals, wine,camp music. I nothing of football and D.I.Y, i don't care and neither should people. I know that i'd make a fucking brilliant partner.
I totally get what you mean. My aunties, when I first told them I was trans, used to jokingly say "I don't think men do that" all the time when I'd do daft stuff, and in a chat room I was once told "you can't possibly be trans if you don't want a dick" but I've always been of the opinion that I know I'm a guy and if I felt I had to act MORE manly then surely transitioning would be a mistake because I'd be ACTING and not being myself.
ReplyDeleteI am me, I like SOME musicals, can't stand wine, like camp music, am actually becoming more interested in football and I suck really bad at D.I.Y and I too don't care :-)